How to Be Married and Happy! (2)

To be married and happy you must understand that love is a choice, not a sensation. The old song You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling may make your toes tap but it won’t make your marriage work. If ‘feeling’ is the fruit, then ‘doing’ is the root. Your will is where the solution begins. God wouldn’t have commanded, ‘Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church...’ (Ephesians 5:25 NKJV) or ‘...teach the young women to love their husbands...’ (Titus 2:4 NCV) if love was a feeling and not an act of your will. When the will leads, the feelings follow. So let’s correct four misconceptions about love. (1) Love’s foundation is not emotion, personality, beauty or sex—in other words, sources of pleasure. These things don’t bring lasting happiness. What’s needed is commitment, character and Christ-likeness. (2) Think you can’t love your partner? Check with God. ‘We love because He first loved us.’ (1 John 4:19 NIV) If you’re loved by God, you’ve got love to give, because ‘...love comes from God...’ (1 John 4:7 NIV) You don’t have to initiate it; just give what has been given to you! (3) Think you’ve ‘run out’ of love? No, you’ve just abandoned the source: ‘God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.’ (Romans 5:5 NIV) Tank up on the Spirit’s supply and you’ll have lots of love to give! (4) Investing yourself in your partner causes even dead love to live again. ‘For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.’ (Matthew 6:21 KJV)